Livin The Dream

Hawaii was fabulous! I know I went a few weeks ago, but I haven't been able to figure out how to get my pictures off my camera. I was going to wait, but who knows how long that will take! So I'm going to post anyway with the few pics I took on my phone and then I'll post the pics when I figure it out.

Anyways, we started off our trip with a late short flight to Oakland, then spent the night in the airport. That was pretty rough, but we saved a lot of money so it was probably worth it. The flight to Hawaii was nice, I was able to nap a bit and we got some yummy breakfast stuff with guava jelly! it was so yummy I ended up buying a small jar to take home as a souvenir. When we got off the plane the warmth and humidity hit like a wall, it felt so good! My dad's suitcase got lost, ended going up to portland (?!) but we were told it would get there soon.The first day was pretty chill, we basically just slept and ate.

The second day we went to explore the town of Lahaina. We didn't rent a car, so we took the bus then walked about 15 minutes to the town. Lahaina is a pretty cute ocean front town, some really good history and lots of restaurants and shops. We  went to all the historic sites and learned about the town and the culture of hawaii. There was a really cool courtyard with a banyan tree, which is basically multiple trees that are all connected to make one big tree. All the branches were connected in a canopy overhead, it was really cool. I definitely got sunburned that day because I didn't anticipate being in the sun for that long.

The next day we took the road to Hana, which is a really curvy road along the coast with lots of beautiful hawaii scenery. The town of Hana itself isn't anything special, it's all about the journey! Before we even got to "the" road we were driving along the coast and saw a whale! At first it just looked like smoke on the water, which is what it looks like when they come up to breathe. We watched it for a bit, it was pretty far into the cove so we could see it's back and sometimes it's tail when it came up. It was a really cool experience, it made me feel really connected to the whales and their history. The road was absolutely gorgeous! My favorite part was a peninsula off the road. there was a really rocky coastline and the ocean was rough that day, which made it even more beautiful.The waves would break against the rocks and spray up, kindof like the little mermaid. I wish I could share the pictures because I think I got some good ones. We stopped to get some fresh made banana bread at a roadside stand, best decision ever! It was still warm when we got it! After that we stopped at the black sand beach. We walked around for a bit, saw a blowhole, forgot to see the petroglyphs (DUR!) and then headed down to the beach. I wanted to get in, but I didn't want to go by myself (I'm irrationally afraid of sharks...) so I managed to convince my dad to go with me! We went far enough out that we could just float on the waves and do some body surfing. We coaxed my mom in for a bit even though she really doesn't like the water. she didn't get past the wave breaks so she ended up getting knocked on her butt... kindof funny! I did feel bad though so we left soon after that. I was proud of myself because I am pretty nervous about being in the open ocean but I really had a good time! We continued on to the back side of the island where the lava flows are and the landscape is very arid. Then up into the mountains, which looked kindof like home! We ended the day with more whale watching and Panda express.

I can't really remember the rest of the trip day by day, I just kindof went with the flow. But we had a few dinners with the electrical association my dad is part of, ended up talking to some cool people. We went snorkeling, which wasn't that amazing, but I think I might have heard the whales. It was pretty eerie, it just sounded like a deep rushing sound. I though it was just the ocean because it came and went, but I didn't hear it at all after a while. Maybe it wasn't the whales, but I like to think it was them :) don't crush my delusional dreams. One day we got to go stand up paddle boarding, which was an absolute blast! I wanted to try surfing, but it involves being out in the open water more which I was still nervous about. I'm proud to say that I didn't fall once! It was really tiring though, the first few times I stood up my legs shook like a chihuahua and I could only stay up for a few minutes before I had to go back down to my knees. After a while my legs got used to it and I could stay up longer. I loved literally paddling circles around my parents and riding the waves. I wish I could have  gone again because I wanted to go out farther. My mom fell once, couldn't get back on the board without help, then stayed sitting down the rest of the time. My dad fell about 30 times! He doesn't have very good balance so he had a hard time, but it was entertaining for us! It was really cool though because he wouldn't give up and eventually he stood up and didn't fall! perseverance :) We also went to a luau where we watched the great dancers and had the best pork I've ever had.

I'm sure there's stuff I'm missing, but I'll come back and post again if there's anything else! Hopefully I'll be able to post again soon because my life is going pretty good right now and I'd like to share some of my experiences! Here are some pics!

Beautiful waterfall on the way to Hana

Random Marley quote, I thought it was fitting

Learning To Dance In The Rain

Sometimes it seems like everything bad happens all at once. This last week has definitely been like that for me. There's that saying "when it rains, it pours". More like "when it snows, there's an avalanche" lol. I'll try to keep this post from being a major rant, but I'll tell you a bit about what's been going on.

First off, my boy dog Turner is really sick. Long story short, he's been sick a couple times in the last few weeks but we just chalked it up to him eating something. Last Monday my parents took him onto the ER and we almost lost him then, but they were able to stabilize him and get a diagnosis. He has a hemangiosarcoma on his heart, which is a very aggressive cancer. Basically, we are keeping him at home and treating any symptoms that come up. Eventually, the tumor will burst and he will bleed out internally. He's doing pretty well right now, so we are just trying to enjoy the time we have with him. I think the worst part is that while he is nine year old (so technically a senior) we haven't had any problems with him and expected him to live for at least a few more years. I'm definitely going to miss him.

On top of that, I got stuck in a snow storm on my drive back up to school, got locked out of my motel room while trying to get to class, got stuck in a snow drift, my car broke down, and I've had three tests this week. I told you, it's been an avalanche. Just one thing on top of another.

Amazingly, my everlasting optimism has been able to shine through. Don't ask me how because I have absolutely no clue, but I'm actually happy with my life right now. Imma get a bit religious here... I know God has been looking out for me. There is no way I would have made it through that snow storm without help. Also, I feel a sense of peace about Turner. I know I'm going to miss him, but because of my personal beliefs I know he's going to be looked after when he leaves us. I have no doubt that he's going to be in a happy place. Anyway, I'm just thankful that I have been able to keep my positive outlook on life, even when it seems like everything is going wrong.

I'll leave you with some pictures :)

A day at the beach near San Fransisco.

Turner, begging for food.

Went target shooting with my dad over MLK weekend.

Beautiful day after the big snow storm

The first foal in my equine repro class!

 Sincerely,
          Me

We Made It to 2013!

I'm glad to report that my holidays were quite fantastic, not hampered at all by the rather anticlimactic Mayan apocalypse! But really, I did have a wonderful Christmas break. Here's a quick review: I got to spend a lot of time with my family and friends, worked a decent amount, had a great girl's night with my coworkers, watched an external fixation of a broken leg, went archery shooting (SO FUN!), went dancing at a bar for my cousin's 21st, made some freaking awesome christmas cookies, and saw Les Mis twice. I always enjoy my time at home and I'll admit that it was pretty hard to leave for school again. I've come to realize how amazing my parents are and how much they do for me. I really appreciate them and I actually think they are pretty fun to hang out with. Thankfully, a few of my Logan friends got together for a homemade dinner last night, which made everything much easier. I really am pretty lucky to have great friends in Logan and at home! I definitely wouldn't be as mentally stable without them.

I do want to update you on my vet school applications. I'm sad to say I've been rejected from Mississippi, Washington/Utah, and Oregon. I'm now only waiting to hear from Oklahoma, but I'm not holding out much hope. It's disappointing, but I've been surprisingly optimistic about the whole thing. I knew that with my terrible grades it was definitely a long shot and I know I'll be a better applicant for next cycle. I've been working on my plan B, which is taking 3-4 upper level bio classes at the university near home next fall and spring. This way I can be home and work at the clinic while still going to school and improving my grades. I'm also planning on getting more vet experience in the summer, probably from an equine vet. I'm retaking the GRE probably early July. Also, I'm planning a trip to Paris for the end of July!!! Everything is still in the conceptual phase, I haven't really figured anything out yet. I just decided that I need to go now before I get hung up on more responsibility. I'm sick of waiting for other people to go with me, so it looks as if I'll be going alone. Feel free to tell me how crazy or awesome this idea is! Anyways, with a plan B like this I'm actually ok with having to apply again. Like I said, I'll be a better applicant and hopefully a better person the second time around.

Classes start this week, which means I'm starting my last semester as an undergrad at USU. So crazy! It definitely doesn't seem like it's been five years. This semester I'm taking physics 2 (again :p), biochem and lab, a communication class, equine assisted therapy, and applied equine repro. I'm particularly excited about the equine classes. The repro class is supposed to be very hands on, we will get to do AI's, breeding soundness exams, preg checks, and hopefully get to help with foaling! The first six weeks is lecture, but after that it's all hands on! Watching a foal being born is definitely on my bucket list, so I'm really hoping for that opportunity. Physics is definitely going to be my hardest class, as usual. Everything else should be relatively easy, just maybe a bit time consuming.

Of course, I must post the quite cliched New Year's Resolutions! Most of these are specifically for this semester, but we can count them as New Year's Resolutions anyways :)
1. Don't skip classes. Especially physics.
2. Go to the physics tutor lab weekly to get help with the homework and prepare for exams.
3. Learn how to study at home. I have a hard time concentrating at home, but I need to learn how before I can get a dog!
4. Speak up in class. I have a bad habit of being too shy to answer a question, even if I know the answer.
5. Be more active. I'm planning on getting a pass to fitness classes from my school with a few girlfriends so hopefully this one won't be too hard. Can't wait to get back into yoga and weightlifting!
6. Get at least B's in all my classes. Need to get my GPA up!
7. Blog at least once a month. Blogging is a great way for me to de-stress and make sense of my feelings, so I should really do it more often! Plus, I'm sure my large gathering of followers are so sad when they don't hear from me ;) lol

I'll leave you with a few pics from the break! Stay sweet friends :)

Archery! 

A free kitty at work that I REALLY wanted...

My kick ass Christmas cookies! 

Sincerely,
          Me

Pictures from Fall

Since school started I've been crazy busy all the time. Between school, work, homework, and spending time with family and friends, blogging has fallen by the wayside. Every time I sit down to write a post something seems to come up. Sometimes that something is Grey's Anatomy lol. But I do have some pictures from fall that I've been meaning to share!

A beautiful fall day out at first dam.

The perfect setting to finish my personal statement!

After finishing my vet school applications!

Turner licking peanut butter from the jar.

Halloween! We were the avengers.

A singing bird outside my apartment.

Mrs. Pumpkin

Girl's night!

The saturday before last, nice and fall-like.

Last saturday, winter is here!

Sincerely,
          Me

Back To School!

Well, the third week of school starts tomorrow! Kindof crazy that it's already been two full weeks. First quiz of the semester is tomorrow in animal nutrition. Not too worried about it, but I should probably go over my study guides again. School is going good so far, got a few interesting ones, a reallly sucky one, and all hard ones. It'll be good though :) I'm looking into a few new opportunities, I'll let you know if anything comes up!

What better way to ring in the new school year than with computer problems?! The weekend before school starts I noticed my computer wasn't connecting to my apartment's wireless network. I didn't think too much of it because it can be a little sketchy. So I took it to school on monday planning to have all my notes and class resources on it. Turns out, it wouldn't connect anywhere. Ever. So it's being fixed right now. Kindof stinks because the first week's notes are on the computer, while the second's are all on paper (which I will have to type in because it would really bug me having inconsistent notes). But, my parents are bringing it up to me tomorrow! I'm really looking forward to it so I can have my computer back and because I get to go to dinner with my parents :) I already have a bunch to talk to them about, so it should be a good time.

I'm still working on my vet school apps. The personal statement is proving to be a major suckfest. Why is it so hard to talk about myself?! I wish I could just say "I'm freaking awesome and you should accept me." but I think that might come off as unproffesional... ugh. Hopefully I get some inspiration and motivation soon!

So, now that you're all caught up on the goings on of my life, I'd like to share some thoughts. Recently, I've been daydreaming a lot. Well, I do this quite a lot but it's been worse lately. I guess I'm not completely happy with where I am, so I dream. I think "I'd be happy if I had a dog" or "I wish I didn't have any roommates" or a billion of other things. "If only I had this, I'd be happy". Which of course isn't true. It's your attitude that determines whether you are happy, not what you have or don't have. This thinking usually leads to searching for apartments, jobs, or dogs online, which only makes me less  happy with the way things are. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Today, I was sitting in church thinking about all this and I realized that I just have to stop thiking like that. I'm new in this ward, but people still introduced themselves and I just felt like this was a good place for me to be, that I belonged there. If I moved into a new apartment, I would have to leave this ward. Why would I leave when I've just received a sense of belonging? "You just have to be happy with where you are" I thought to myself. And not just where I live or who I live with, but with my job, my social status, my life progression. I need to accept all of it and learn to be happy with it. Because this is where I have to be for at least the next 8 months, so I might as well be happy! Such a simple change in thinking, but I'm already feeling about a billion times better about everything :)

I'll leave you with some pictures from the last few weeks :)

Me and my family before going to see Wicked.





My silly girl dog. She likes to sniff the fresh air coming out of the vents when she rides in the car.

A dinosaur at the natural history museum.

A crazy cool double rainbow after a hail storm near my cousins house.

Home

There's no place like home. Really. I'm so glad to be back :) My birthday week has been amazing! Yes, I take a whole week lol mostly just because  parties and get-togethers end up being spaced out. Thursday night my parents took me out to a really fancy fondue restaurant. It's a tradition we started when I turned 18 and we've kept it up ever since. It's fun to enjoy such a nice and delicious meal with people you love! Saturday my parents took me to the zoo and then out to a super cute diner for dinner. The zoo is so much fun! They have a new exhibit with harbor seals, a sea lion, otters, brown bears, and a polar bear. We even got to see them do a training session with the seals and sea lion. They were adorable! I literally wanted to hop in and cuddle with one of the seals :D. And then of course there's the parade for the 24th. My family camps out over night and we start saving our spot at like 7 am on the 23rd. It's really such a fun tradition, we usually end up laughing and playing games all day and night.

Today was my first day back at my clinic for my abbreviated summer break! It was kindof strange to be back at first because I haven't worked there since christmas break, but everything comes back pretty quickly. I call it "my" clinic because it feels like home. I've worked there during school breaks for about two years and loved every minute of it! I love all of the staff there, they feel like another part of my family. The vet there always mentions something about me taking over the practice after I get out of vet school so he can retire. Although there are a few areas I want to explore and mess around with, I can honestly see myself working at and eventually owning the clinic someday. I would really love it :) being back today just cemented everything I've wanted and worked for for years. Got to watch a colonectopy, which was pretty cool. Basically, we took out the whole large intestine because the animal kept getting constipated. There is definitely nothing that would make me happier than working as a veterinarian. Except maybe digging up dinosaur bones and putting skeletons back together, but I still think vet med wins out ;)

Sincerely,
          Me

I Gotta Go My Own Way

It feels like my life is on the verge of some very big changes right now. I'm trying to follow my heart (and my head) and do what's best for me, but sometimes it's hard to figure that out. How am I supposed to know if I'm going to do well in a particular situation?! I can't tell the future!!! lol. Sometimes it can get pretty frustrating. But at the same time, it's all so exciting! There are so many things I could do with my life! I'm applying to vet school, how freaking cool is that?! Ha anyways, I just wanted to talk about a few of the things I'm thinking about. Maybe it'll help me figure a few things out :)

First off, figuring out where I want to apply has been a beast. There are 3 that I've known I wanted to apply to since the beginning, but other than that, I just keep changing my mind! Right now I've settled on a fourth, but still trying to figure out if I want to apply to one more... I still have a good amount of time to decide, applications aren't due until October! One scary/exciting alternative I've been considering has been applying to a caribbean school. They can be a bit "easier" to get into, since they tend to accept students with lower GPAs (which is me...) but their programs seem to be right on par with US schools. It seems like these schools have a very long list of pros with few cons that can be worked around. Every time I think about what other school I want to apply to, this caribbean school keeps popping up. It seems to have everything I want! I just hope I'm not being seduced by the prospect of going to school on a beach. I've mentioned it to my parents and they seem to be relatively ok with it. My dad, of course, would prefer that I lived at or near home for the rest of my life, but some things just can't be done lol. I'm probably going to think about it a lot more before I come to any sort of conclusion. One big factor is that I want to get accepted as soon as I can so I can start practicing and pay off my debt. This caribbean school may just be the perfect way to do that.

For the past four years of college, I've been a member of the USU Equestrian Team. I have loved it! It's helped my riding so much and I've made a lot of good friends through it. Now, you can only be a regular member for four years because of the IHSA (intercollegiate horse show association) rules. I could be an Alumni member, but I may not be able to compete because you need at least three alumni riders for a class. So, I don't think I'm going to be on the team this year :(. There are many reasons behind my decision, including time and money. The biggest reason is that I think my time on the team has ended. I think I have naturally progressed out of it, grown out of it in a way. I need to take my riding in a different direction. I need to slow down, do it just for the fun of it, not pressure myself, and build a relationship with the horses I ride. I don't know how I will accomplish this because I don't have a horse or money to pay for lessons, but I have faith that it will work itself out. It's sad to see something I've enjoyed so much for the past four years come to an end, but I know in my heart that this is what I need to do. I'm excited to see what comes next!

This Wednesday, I finally get to go home for my summer break! I can not tell you how much I am looking forward to this. I literally can not wait. I love being home with my family and friends and dogs. I love not battling with my roommates over the air conditioner. I love watching tv shows with my sister and hanging out with my cousins. I love working at my clinic. The list could go on and on, but I guess I will spare you everything I love about being home. I am taking a solid week off to spend time with family and celebrate my birthday on Sunday before picking up some hours at my clinic. I may even have the opportunity to shadow a vet at the zoo! It's gonna be a great five weeks before school starts again :)

     Sincerely,
          Me

Floating By On The Days Of Summer

It's the first day of July, my favorite month of the entire year! There are many, many reasons why I love July, a few of them being the 4th of July, the 24th (Utah's pioneer day), the usually beautiful weather, hanging with my family and friends at home, and, of course, my birthday! Unfortunately, I won't be home until the 18th when my summer classes end, but I'm trying to make the most of it. I am going home tuesday afternoon to spend the 4th at home, so that's a definite plus :) really looking forward to it!

This weekend has been one of the best (out of like 2 or 3) that I have spent in Logan this summer. Friday, I was invited by one of my coworkers (who happens to be my last boyfriend's roommate...) to go floating down a river in Idaho on Saturday with a bunch of other people. I had an absolute blast! It ended up being about a two and a half hour float down the river on inner tubes. There were even a few little waterfalls along the way! Made a few new friends out of it :)

Today hasn't been too exciting, one of those nice lazy summer days. I've just been lying around nursing the horrible sunburn I got on Monday. I think it borders upon being a second degree burn... ouch :( I guess that's what I get for not thinking to put sunscreen on! The highlight of my day has been cooking and baking. I've been craving some sweets lately... ok honestly I always crave sweets lol. Anyways, I decided to make some no bake chocolate, peanut butter, and oatmeal cookies. They are setting up right now, but I did lick the spoon and it tasted pretty darn delicious! For dinner I made tofu parmesan. It's the first time I've ever cooked tofu so I was kindof nervous about it, but it turned out great! The breading is maybe not as crispy as I would like, but other than that it's fabulous! The tofu is a little interesting, the texture is different than chicken (duh) but not in a bad way. It's a lot less chewy, more softish. Going vegetarian is something I have thought about a lot recently, but I've never really known how to make the transition. I'm not claiming to be a veggie just yet, but learning how to cook tofu is definitely a step in the right direction!

I also managed to brainstorm a bit for my personal statement for vet. school applications! I was reading a vet student's blog and I got really inspired remembering a few of my experiences and thinking about qualities that I wanted to talk about. I've still got a long way to go with it, but I'm glad I worked on it a bit today! It seems like the direction I want to go is going to be slightly different than the advice I got from one of my professors, but I think it will still achieve what he told me a personal statement needs to; that is, tell them why you want to be a veterinarian and tell them why they should accept you into their program. I have two great experiences I want to talk about that illustrate that and then maybe talk about my bad grades and how that has made me a better student, person, and therefore a better applicant. Although that last one is a bit iffy... but my grades are pretty dismal (from a vet school POV) and I would love the chance to explain to the admissions committees why that shouldn't be a reason not to admit me. Any admissions committee is going to be concerned about that anyways, so why not put it in my PS? Although there is an explanations section so I might put it in there, We will see!

Off to eat my cookies!!! :) Stay sweet!

     Sincerely,
           Me

This One's A Fighter

Warning: This post may be a bit of a rant, but I just feel like I need to get a few things off my chest...

First off, today has been one of those days. You know, one of those days where you just feel blah. Nothing bad even happened. It's actually been a fairly nice day; the sun is shining, I got to sleep in, work wasn't bad. I think a large part of my mood today was that I just kept thinking about him (coffee shop boy). I may not necessarily wish I was still in a relationship with him, but I definitely still miss him sometimes. I saw him at work today for a minute and did he even acknowledge my presence? nope. Didn't even bat an eyelid in my direction. That'll ruin a girl's day for sure. And then there's the fact that one of my other past bfs called me last night at 12:30 (while I was asleep drugged up on nyquil because of my cold, mind you) to tell me that he misses me. If it was the coffee shop boy who had called me, I would have probably been perfectly ok with it. But it wasn't. For some reason, the universe always likes to play that joke on me. The guys who like me I don't like, and the guys who I like don't like me. Real funny, universe.

On a different and more positive note, VMCAS (the vet school application) opened today! Pretty exciting! Ok, not gonna lie, I'm scared out of my mind lol. But in a good, can't wait to see where this takes me kindof scared. I know my application isn't the strongest, and I don't have the best GPA, but I'm determined to achieve my dreams. No one will tell me I can't do it. The only person who decides whether or not I go to vet school is me. Well, maybe the admissions committees too lol. Anyways, you should look up the songs "The Fighter" by Gym Class Heroes and "Don't Give Up" bu Kevin Rudolph. They are both great songs that pick me up when I'm down or think I can't do it. Wish me luck on my application!

     Sincerely,
          Me

Breathe

     Well, school is just crazy right now. Finals are next week and I am super stressed about my grades. I found out last week that I am probably not going to get the grades I  need in two of my classes, which means that I will have to take them again, which also means that I will be in school next spring instead of graduating in the fall like I wanted. That sucks. Mostly I am disappointed in myself because I was the one who slacked off in those classes all semester, so I really have no one to blame but myself. And that's a harsh reality to face. Granted, this semester has been pretty rough for me emotionally for various reasons, but I still don't feel like that justifies getting bad grades. All I can do now is study hard for my finals and pray for a miracle and a killer curve.

     Speaking of studying, it always seems like I get into a good studying groove right at the end of the semester. That's probably because I don't spend hours on end studying until the week before finals though... Anyways, I always have a hard time finding a good place to study. The school library is too big and cold and, and home is too distracting and messy. Plus the light in my room went out, so I either have to study in the dark, or in the front room where my roommates like to be noisy. Thankfully, I had a great idea and went over to the city library to check it out. Turns out I love it! It has a homey feel, but there's a lot of space. I don't have to walk there, which is embarrassingly a big turnoff of studying at the school library. And there's a perfect spot, nestled between a bookshelf and a window. If there is any place happier than a library, it's probably a horse barn! But they are pretty close in my book.

     I just wanted to share a quote with you that I found on pinterest...

   

     I just really loved this because it just reminded me to keep on breathing, keep on going. Just because we hit some road blocks along the way doesn't mean we should give up or second guess our goals. Everything will be ok. Don't get discouraged! Setbacks are not a sign that you are going in the wrong direction, more often they are a sign that you are doing exactly what you should be. By pushing through your challenges, you will know without a doubt that you are doing what you want. So take a moment and just breathe. And keep fighting for your dreams :)

     Sincerely,

          Me

My Friends, The Ducks

Look at them waddle!

     So I told you in the last post that I had a few pics of my lovely duckie friends, and my phone finally decided to cooperate so I have them now! And I really wanted to share them with you because I think they are just so freaking adorable. And they make me happy. Hopefully I will get to visit them tomorrow, if it's not raining!

   

They got so close! My camera was not zoomed at all.

     Also, for easter, my mom decided to get my dad his very own library card! So we took him in on saturday to get it and I just had to take a picture! Look how happy he is! lol they grow up so fast.

What a cutie!

New Found Passions

     Spring is here! And with spring comes a new found passion for life. The warmer weather seems to bring out the best in life. Recently, I've discovered a few new things that I absolutely LOVE, and I just wanted to share a few of them with you :)

-Feeding ducks! I love love love going to a lake or park and feeding the cute duckies all the bread I can spare! They are just so cute and funny, with their waggly butts and adorable quacks. I wish I could understand what they are saying, because I'm sure that would be just as adorable. New favorite hobby? I think yes.

-Stronger, by Kelly Clarkson. Definitely my new anthem for the foreseeable future. I love the rocking beats and the uplifting girl power lyrics. I totally got caught dancing to this song in my car in the middle of an intersection the other day... don't regret a thing!

-Working out. I never used to work out, but I started about 2 weeks ago and I'm really enjoying it! Except for the days when I feel like I've been in a really bad bar fight, but that was pretty much just the first week lol. I still get sore, but it's just that building muscle soreness that you know is good for you. It usually is only bad for maybe a day. Definitely worth the bikini body that I'll have for summer!

-Driving around, windows down, music up. Ok, this isn't exactly something I've just discovered, but I haven't been able to do it for so long that it sure feels like it! It's one of the simple joys in life.

-Sports bras. How did I live without theses things?!?!

-Reading Vet. student blogs. So interesting! I love reading a first hand perspective about students in vet school. I think it's really upped my motivation for school, which is definitely a good thing. It gives me hope that someday I will be in vet school too!

     Sincerely,
          Me

p.s. I was hoping to add some pics to this post, but my phone is just not cooperating with me. The last time I went to visit my duck friends I took a few really cute pictures! They got so close! Maybe I will add them in eventually...

Conference Weekend

     Last weekend was conference weekend, aka "wear pajamas and do nothing" weekend. Needless to say, I loved it :) It was so nice just to take a break from all the stress of everyday life and listen to the words of the prophets. On Saturday I even had a pretty cool opportunity to invite a friend over to watch the afternoon session with me. I don't know how much he really took in, but I hope he was able to feel the calm and peace that I always feel during conference. The only draw back was that I was in Logan instead of home with my family. This isn't the first time I haven't been home for conference, but for some reason it kindof hit me hard this time. Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I get a little homesick, even though I try to put on a brave face ;) I do think I pay attention better when I'm not at home though, so maybe it was for the best! I do want to share a few of my favorite talks and some of my thoughts with you and I hope you enjoy my insights :)

     The very first talk was President Thomas S. Monson. It was really short, but it made such an impact on me. Almost from the moment he opened his mouth I felt the spirit so strongly that I cried (a rare occurance for me). He was basically just opening up the conference, but I just really felt so close to the spirit and I felt encouraged to make changes in my life.

     Later in the session, Paul E Koelliker gave a talk about the "murmuring" that goes on in the Book Of Mormon. I had never equated this problem with me, but he brought up the point that "they murmured because they did not know the dealings of our heavenly father." This really brought it into perspective for me. It made me realize that this has been part of my problem of late. I have grumbled and been unhappy with some things in my life because they didn't go the way I wanted them to. My problem was that I wasn't thinking about what heavenly father has planned for me and I wasn't fully trusting him to get me to my goals. This talk really helped me change my way of thinking.

     David S. Baxter spoke Saturday afternoon. His talk was very reassuring to me. It was all about how the lord is with us during our trials. If we just do our best, we will find the help we need to get through the hard times. Plus, He had a really cool accent, so he was really fun to listen to ;)

     There are more talks that made an impact on me, but for the sake of not having a mile long post, I only wanted to share my absolute favs. I hope that you enjoyed conference as much as I did!

     Sincerely,
          Me

Letters to the boys

     So I saw this on a friend's blog and decided to steal it. The idea is that you write a letter/note to all the boys who have made an impact on your life, whether you went out with them or merely admired them from afar. Sounds like fun! I figured this would be a good way to get a few things off my chest :)

p.s. sorry for the language... but it was well deserved.

Dear Kindergarten Sweetheart,
     My first "boyfriend". We had great times playing at daycare and kissing in the big tires. I don't remember your name, but I remember how nice you were to me. I still have the pearl necklace you gave me! I hope you've had a great life since our times in kindergarten <3

Dear High School Crush,
     You were the first boy I thought I loved. We were best friends all through high school and we made some great memories. I'm sorry I messed things up there at the end, I guess I was just scared. Thanks for being one of my very best friends. I know we've both changed a lot since those days, but I hope that someday we will be able to share some good times again. I'll always care about you, even if you're gay now...

Dear Boy Next Door,
     I had the biggest crush on you my entire freshman year of college. I just thought you were the cutest, funniest, sweetest guy I'd ever met. Alas, you liked my roommate. I'm over it though, we never would have been good together anyways.

Dear My First,
     First kiss, first boyfriend, first love, first everything. I had no idea the impact you would have on my life. You taught me so much and I grew so much while we were dating, but you also took so much from me. I didn't know that someone I loved so much could hurt me like you did. But after everything, I must thank you for helping me learn what a good relationship should be. Thanks for teaching me to let go.

Dear Rebound,
     I'm sorry I used you, but I still don't believe you wanted a relationship with me. Thanks for the good times, you were there for me when I needed you. I hope you learn how to kiss.

Dear Muscles,
     You are a douche. I trusted you and you played with my feelings. I hope karma makes you her bitch someday. You need to learn that you can't just go around treating girls like crap. And you look like a fish when you kiss.

Dear Brace Face,
     I'm glad I never kissed you, my tongue would have been shredded to pieces. I'm glad I kicked you to the curb when I did. I can't believe you stuck your hand up my shirt. Grow up and learn some boundaries.

Dear Coffee Shop Boy,
     I still miss you. But I hate that I miss you. Sometimes I want to throw eggs at your car. I still don't really know why you broke up with me. I wish you would have said something before that night. Even though it didn't work out between us, I'm still glad I took the chance. Thanks for getting me to open my heart to love again. I hope you find everything you're looking for. Don't be afraid to fall in love babe, you deserve to be happy.

     Sincerely,
               Me

Hope

Hope does not always burn brightly or shine fiercely like the sun, but glows softly like the stars. Hope is the tiny spark in your heart that urges you to move forward, even in the blackest of nights. Hope is what keeps you going, even when it seems there is nothing left to live for. Especially when it seems there is nothing left to live for. Hope is found in a new tree bud after a winter storm. Hope is found in the quacks and waddles of ducks looking for food in a frosty pond. Hope is found in a heartbeat, in a laugh, in a smile. Hope gives your heart wings to fly you away from you troubles and to a place of green grass and butterfly wings. Hope is a tiny ray of sunshine that you carry in your soul. Finding hope is like finding a jewel in a mud pile. Once we find that tiny sparkle of hope, we must cherish it. For one grain of hope brings more, like moths to a flame. Soon, we will have gathered enough hope to pick us up off the floor and conquer our trials. Search for hope, for if you search you will find. It only takes one glimmer of hope to change the seasons and bring your heart to summer.

Longing

Would it be okay to tell you
that I miss you?
I know I probably shouldn't,
but my heart is screaming at me
to tell you how I feel.


Can you see how hard it is for me?
Maybe I'm a better liar than I thought.
It seems like you're doing just fine.
I shouldn't bother your peace
with the longings of a silly girl.


I know I should let you go,
that this is what you wanted.
But I keep thinking just maybe,
if I stopped pretending to be okay, just for a moment,
you would tell me you miss me too.


I can't describe how losing you has felt.
I never expected it to be this hard.
You're in my every thought
and when I hear my heart beating
I'm surprised it's working at all.


I miss you, my dear.
I dream about being in your arms again,
of kissing your lips even one last time.
I promise I'm trying to let you go,
to let you live your life without me holding you back.


But I miss you.


    That, my dear friends, is my attempt at poetry. I don't often write poetry, but sometimes when I'm having a hard time with something it really helps to get my feelings out and put them on paper. I've had that first line running through my head for weeks. Tonight I finally had enough inspiration to write it down and the whole thing just kindof fell together. It's a wonderful feeling, being able to pour out your thought onto the page and it's always rewarding for me when I read through it and realize I created something beautiful. Beauty from pain.

     If you hadn't guessed already, me and my boyfriend broke up about a month ago. Well, really he dumped me. The details are all muddled and only he knows the real reasons behind it. I can only guess and try to interpret what little he told me. Needless to say, I haven't been dealing with the whole situation as well as I would like to. I'm trying to be strong and get over it, but most days all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep and cry. Of course, I can't do that. So I put on my brave face and do the best I can. Hopefully it will get easier.

Echo, my newest friend :)

     There are some good things about my life though! I don't want you to think that my life lately has just been one big cry fest. Number one is that I got a fish!!! I went home last weekend and I mentioned to my dad that I've been wanting a fish for a while. He surprised me by offering to buy me a fish! So we took a trip to the pet store and picked out the prettiest betta there :) His name is echo, and he has settled into his new home quite nicely, Even though it's just a little fish, I've really enjoyed taking care of him. It's nice to be responsible for another living thing.

     I've also been making an effort to improve my eating habits. Nothing drastic, no goals of losing weight or anything. I've just been trying to eat healthier and pay attention to what I'm putting into my mouth. I'm also trying to reduce my meat intake. After a really horrible dream that I won't even describe, I decided to cut back on meat. I have no false ideas of being able to go vegetarian as I do not eat nearly enough fruits and veggies to get a balanced diet without meat, but I have cut back. My approach is fresh fruits and veggies, more whole grains, less boxed and processed foods, more water, more alternative proteins, and limit my sweets, soda, and meat to once a day. It's been going pretty well so far, and I've been pleased with how good my body feels when I'm eating healthy meals. A big part of it is just paying attention to what I put in my mouth and actually thinking about what I'm going to eat for the day. It's been fun to experiment with different foods. Last night I made some delicious green beans and today I made some lovely roasted red potatoes. Yum!

    Another positive thing in my life recently is exercise. If you know me, you know I don't exercise very much. Hardly at all. Usually, the most I can claim is my once a week horseback riding. I decided that was something that needed to be changed, mostly for the endorphins. Again, I don't really have goals of losing weight, that's never really been a focus of mine. Exercise relieves stress and calms you down, and that's definitely something I need in my life right now. I took a zumba class today and I had a blast! It felt so good to be sweaty and happy. I'll also be doing some yoga classes, which is something I've really enjoyed in the past. Hopefully this will help me have a more positive outlook on life.
   
      Also, spring is just around the corner! What great hope good weather can bring :) Stay sweet, my friends.

     Sincerely,
          Me

So many things to be thankful for...

     This Sunday in church, there were a few talks about Thanksgiving and I felt impressed to make a list of the things that I am most thankful for. So I'll share my list with you :) and I encourage you to make your own little thanksgiving list, it can really change your perspective on life.

• Family
• My "Logan" friends, specifically Audriana Marler and Samantha Reeves
• My wonderful boyfriend :)
• School
• Work
• Animals
• My dogs
• Prayer
• Church and the strength I receive when I go
• heaters
• boots
• an open heart
• those who listen and love
• good examples
• music
• having not just a house, but a home
• safety while driving
• the things I don't struggle with
• good hair days
• hope
• future plans
• the spark of faith that keeps me holding on
• coworkers that turn into family
• those who forgive
• being able to move on
• the strengths of others
• trendy clothes
• the courage to ride horses
• confidence in myself
• smiles
• unconditional love
• hot chocolate
• comfort food, like pine nuts
• my parents
• sore muscles
• tender mercies of the Lord
• challenges that help me grow
• sacrifices people make for the gospel
• righteous temple marriages
• sweaters
• sunshine and sunrises
• those who share their tough experiences
• good poetry
• cute shoes
• the sweet spirit of children
• pictures with friends
• happy memories
• cozy blankets
• funny jokes
• laughing until your stomach hurts
• good study days
• catching up with friends
• game nights
• pretty jewelry
• hymns, especially #100
• songs that get you through hard times
• letters to/from missionaries
• complements
• loving words from friends
• long talks with good friends
• dancing
• my favorite scripture, 2 Nephi:4
• seeing the light of Christ in others and feeling God's love for them
• cheesy movies
• the atonement of Jesus Christ
• personal revelation
• family vacations
• Christmas time
• quiet mornings
• hugs from loved ones
• kisses

     Sorry, I know it's a little long, but what can I say, I have a lot to be thankful for! Happy Thanksgiving everybody :)

     Sincerely,

          Me

Things change...

     The only thing that stays the same in life is the fact that it is always changing. Change can sometimes be a hard thing, but it's something we all have to come to terms with. Things change, and we just have to learn to make the best of it. There are a lot of things in my life that are changing right now, but I am thankful to say that I'm pretty happy with all of them :) Life is good when you can welcome change with an open heart!

     First of all, one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world and roommate for three years is getting married. Yep, married! I am so happy for her. Her boyfriend, soon to be fiance, is an absolutely amazing guy and he is everything she has ever wanted in an eternal companion. I always thought she would be the first to get married, but now that that time is here I find myself thinking "whoa wait, already?!" which is silly because this is our fourth year of college. There is no doubt in my mind that this is right and that she is ready for this next step in her life. Honestly, it is a little weird to me, just because I am nowhere near ready to be married yet. At least, I don't think so. There are just way too many things going on in my life right now. I'm having a hard time figuring out if I am ready for a relationship, let alone marriage! Anyways, moral of the story is that I am so excited for my best friend and I am so happy that she has found the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with :)

     Speaking of relationships... there's a boy in my life! Yep, you heard right, a boy ;) I will try to avoid going into too much detail, but basically he is amazing :) We are really similar in a lot of areas and we think the same about most stuff. I've had a crush on this boy for a while now, so it's pretty fantastic that things are finally starting to work out! I don't think I have ever meshed so well with anyone outside of my family and above-mentioned best friend. I catch myself daydreaming about him constantly, which probably isn't a very good thing when it happens during my classes lol. Anyways, I'll stop gushing... :) I will admit though, I am kindof apprehensive about where things are going. I really like this boy and I really want things to work out. I just hope that getting involved with him is a good thing, because at this point I don't think my heart will let me not get involved :)

     Losing friends is generally a hard change to cope with, but sometimes it is just necessary to move on in life. Someone very close to me recently told me he didn't want to be in my life anymore. It really is sad to me because I've known him for going on four years, and I feel like we have been through a lot together. Being friends definitely wasn't easy, but I've always felt that it was worth it. Apparently, he didn't feel the same way. Even though I'm sad that our friendship is over, I think it's probably for the best. By keeping our friendship going, I've also been carrying around a lot of baggage. I'm hoping that I'll be able to let all of the junk from my past go so I can move on to better things in my life (see above paragraph ;) ).

     Along with all this, school is as hard as ever (if not harder) and I feel like I am always busy. BUT, all things considered, I definitely think my life is on the plus side right now :)

     Sincerely,
               Me

The Secret Life of Prince Charming

     During my trip to San Fransisco, I read a really wonderful book called "The Secret Life of Prince Charming" by Deb Caletti. The book is about this girl Quinn who is surrounded by women who have gotten their hearts broken by the men in their lives. Quinn's father is one of these men; her parents were divorced and her dad wasn't too involved in her life until just recently. When Quinn finds out that her father has taken a token from every woman he's had a relationship with, she sets out on a road trip with her little sister and he half sister to return the stolen items. Along the way, they find truth. Truth about their father and about love. In the end, Quinn even finds some good love of her own.
    Throughout the book, stories of the women in Quinn's life are told. The stories are about their bad relationships, their mistaken perceptions about love, and about how they finally found good love. The stories were one of my favorite parts about the book. They really resonated with me, and reminded me of how I've let myself get into stupid situations and bad relationships. They also made me realize how strong women are and how much we need to stand up for ourselves, especially when we aren't being treated like we should in a relationship.
     I strongly recommend this book! It's a great teen read (although there were a few f-words :s), it's fairly easy, and it has a lot of great insight. It would make a great summer read! I'm just gonna share a few of my favorite quotes, hope you enjoy :)

"Love should have conditions. And the biggest one

is that you should be able to look in someone's

face and respect what you see."

"I know now that if love is a decision, it should be 

stuck with not out of some sort of cement-and-chains

obligation, but because the choice was a good

one. A solid one. Love is a decision that should be 

made for the right reasons and kept for the right reasons."

"The most basic and somehow forgettable thing

is this: Love is not pain. Love is goodness.

And real love- it's less shiny than solid and simple. It's

the stuff of sunflower spirals and seashells, where there is 

beauty and mystery, but where there is logic too. You do not

need protection from it. It is not about the lies that

someone else tells you or that you tell yourself, but about

the truth. Real love is clear. It's as uncomplicated as that

shell. It's as timeless. When you find it, if you find it, pick it up.

For all the right reasons, pick it up and hold it close."

and my favorite:

"Listen, when what you want is a relationship and

not an actual person, get a dog."

     Sincerely,

               Me

San Fransisco!

The Golden Gate Bridge

Turner running free in the desert

     What better way to start a summer than with a vacation! After surviving finals week, my parents and I took a trip to San Fransisco. To make it even better, my cousin came along! We had a great time. San Fran is a very pretty city, the architecture is so beautiful and it's a very different culture than my quiet life in Utah. The first day was all travel, which kindof sucked because I was still recovering from being sick during finals week. We ended up in Reno and spent the next day, Sunday, in the area too. We went to this cute little mountain town called Virginia city, with cute little shops and random people dressed in old western clothes. Then we took a scenic drive back to Reno, and stopped on the way by a pile of rocks to let the dogs out. There were some really good views at the top!

The beautiful "Painted Ladies"

     The next day we traveled to Petaluma California, only a short drive from San Fran! We got there in the early afternoon, so me and my cousin sat out by the pool while my parents finished setting up. I got a really awesome sunburn from the sweetheart neckline of my sundress lol. We decided to get dinner in San Fransisco, at pier 39. It sure was beautiful! We ate dinner at Bubba Gumps and I got some shrimp and lobster bisque, sure was yummy! We spent all day in the city the next day, mostly driving around looking at cool sites. We also went to Alcatraz that day, it was really interesting. I loved learning about the penitentiary, but I also got some really beautiful shots of the nature on the island. The next day was spent in the city as well, this time riding the trolleys through the city. we also went to china town, where we stopped for lunch. Surprise! I found out I can use chopsticks pretty well! The food was delicious and I loved the novelty of using chopsticks, especially since they were plastic instead of wood (which is the only reason I tried using them at all).

Fun at the beach!

     Thursday was spent in the areas surrounding the city. We started off at the beach (not in the bay, but I can't remember where). The dogs loved it! My dalmation Kaya is usually the water dog, but this time Turner jumped right into the water! He loved exploring and chasing the seagulls. We saw a lot of starfish and we even found a sting ray washed up on shore! After the beach we went to Sausalito, a cute little community west of the city. Very charming! It was a very relaxing day to wrap up our trip. the next two days was spent traveling back home. The pictures I'm sharing with you are some of my favorite, and also some of my more artistic shots. Taking the trip to San Fransisco was a great way to relax after the stress of school and now I'm ready to jump into my summer!

     Sincerely,
               Me

Gorgeous staircase on Alcatraz

Pretty pretty starfish!